Miller, W. and Rollnick, S. (2013). Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change. New York: Guilford Press. Chapter 1: Conversations about change
Miller and Rollnick describe three communication styles common among people who are advocating or counselling for change: Directing, Guiding and Following. Directing is obvious enough: it's when I tell you what to do - or a doctor tells a patient the right way to take medication. The Following style involves listening and encouraging. M&R say, "I trust your own wisdom, will stay with you and will let you work this out in your own way." All good.
But my favourite metaphor - and quite apparently their favourite style - comes in Guiding. They suggest an analogy to the international travel guide: when you hire one, they don't tell you what to do or follow you aimlessly; they ask you what you want to do and then help make it happen. So clear. And so intuitively compelling as a communications option: here's my number; call me if you'd like some help.
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